Things You Should Never Tell Your Spouse

Things You Should Never Tell Your Spouse

Things You Should Never Tell Your Spouse

It’s said that coming clean is the beginning of starting something good in a relationship. But, there are some things that can just end a relationship even before it begins. We agree, it’s always good to be open and frank with your partner before you plan to settle down with him/her. But, at the same time there are some things you should never discuss with your prospective spouse. When we say some things, we mean…

1) About Your Ex
You do not have to get emotional and start making a bunch of confessions. Your partner doesn’t need to know about your past. In case, s/he asks you about your ex, say as little as possible. Disclosing all about your ex can only lead to feelings like jealousy, suspicion and a host of other wrong feelings. Moreover, it’s an absolute turnoff to hear about all the good times you’ve shared with your ex. So, avoid talking about where your ex worked, his favourite cuisines, the restaurants he loved visiting, etc. Just forget about your past and move on.

2) Anything Negative
When we say negative, we mean your partner’s over all personality. It’s better to remain quite at times. If there’s anything that you dislike about him/her just keep it to yourself. It’s somehow not a good idea to criticize a person so early. S/he may never forget it even if the person never brings it up again.

3) A List of People You Dislike
Try and discuss more positive things. You may be the best person on planet earth but somehow, not too many people like you, which is absolutely fine. That doesn’t mean you come up with a list of names you dislike and start complaining about each of them. Why would your partner be interested in knowing why you hate someone s/he doesn’t even know? Remember, complaining is a bad idea, especially on your first date. It just makes you look disagreeable and leaves a wrong image of you. Your partner may think you do not know how to hold onto relationships. So, avoid sounding negative.

4) We’ll Move Out After Marriage
Oh, so you think you will never be able to get along with your in-laws? And why is that? Is it because you’ve got some live examples in your friend circle or family who’re living away from their in-laws and are much more happier in life or because you think in-laws just interfere too much? If you talk about living separately after marriage, be prepared to be rejected. No guy would take it, trust us! It obviously wouldn’t leave a good impression about you. It’s better not to assume things well in advance. You never know, you may just happen to get the best in-laws in the world.

5) Personal Problems 
Last but not the least, let your personal problems be personal. Don’t forget that you’re still getting to know each other, so save it for the future. Your sad experiences and stories, probably won’t have much effect on your spouse. Even if the opposite person triggers a response, you shouldn’t talk about it. If you lose your partner’s interest by complaining about how bad life is, you may just lose any chances you had with him/her.

Learn Java for Android Development – Jeff Friesen

Learn Java for Android Development - Jeff Friesen
Java for Android Development

Android development is hot, and many programmers are interested in joining the fun. However, because this technology is based on Java, you should first obtain a solid grasp of the Java language and its foundational APIs to improve your chances of succeeding as an Android app developer. After all, you will be busy learning the architecture of an Android app, the various Android-specific APIs, and Android-specific tools. If you do not already know Java fundamentals, you will probably end up with a massive headache from also having to quickly cram those fundamentals into your knowledge base.

Learn Java for Android Development teaches programmers of any skill level the essential Java language and foundational Java API skills that must be learned to improve the programmer’s chances of succeeding as an Android app developer. Each of the book’s 10 chapters provides an exercise section that gives you the opportunity to reinforce your understanding of the chapter’s material. Answers to the book’s more than 300 exercises are provided in an appendix.

Once you complete this book, you will be ready to dive into Android, and you can start that journey by obtaining a copy of Beginning Android 2.

What you’ll learn

* The Java language: This book provides complete coverage of nearly every pre-Java version 7 language feature (native methods are briefly mentioned but not formally covered). Starting with those features related to classes and objects, you progress to object-oriented features related to inheritance, polymorphism, and interfaces. You then explore the advanced language features for nested types, packages, static imports, exceptions, assertions, annotations, generics, and enums. Continuing, you investigate strictfp, class literals, synchronized, volatile, the enhanced for loop statement, autoboxing/unboxing, and transient fields. The book also briefly presents most (if not all) of Java version 7’s language features, although not much is said about closures or modules (which were not finalized at the time of writing).

* Java APIs: In addition to Object and APIs related to exceptions, you explore Math, StrictMath, BigDecimal, BigInteger, Package, Boolean, Character, Byte, Short, Integer, Long, Float, Double, Number, the References API, the Reflection API, String, StringBuffer, System, the Threading API, the collections framework, the concurrency utilities, the internationalization APIs, the Preferences API, Random, the Regular Expressions API, File, RandomAccessFile, stream classes, and writer/reader classes. You will also get a tiny taste of Swing in the context of internationalization.

* Tools: You will learn how to use the JDK’s javac (compiler), java (application launcher), javadoc (Java documentation generator), and jar (Java archive creator, updater, and extractor) tools. You will also receive an introduction to the NetBeans and Eclipse integrated development environments. Although you can develop Android apps without NetBeans or Eclipse, working with these IDEs is much more pleasant.

Who this book is for

This book is for any programmer (including existing Java programmers and Objective-C [iPhone/iPad] programmers) of any skill level who needs to obtain a solid understanding of the Java language and foundational Java APIs before jumping into Android app development.

Table of Contents

 1. Getting Started with Java

2. Learning Language Fundamentals

3. Learning Object-Oriented Language Features

4. Mastering Advanced Language Features, Part 1

5. Mastering Advanced Language Features, Part 2

6. Exploring the Basic APIs, Part 1

7. Exploring the Basic APIs, Part 2

8. Discovering the Collections Framework

9. Discovering Additional Utility APIs

10. Performing I/O

Download Java for Android Development E Book

5 Things You Should Know About Women

5 Things You Should Know About Women

5 Things You Should Know About Women

In spite of dating several women, you haven’t succeeded in understanding women, is it? Well, in that case let us tell you that it’s not such a difficult task to understand women. We list down certain things that most women like.

1. Women Love Attention
This is very true. If you’ve been living with a carefree attitude, it’s high time you change yourself. Women like men who’re kind, caring, loving and have all the time in this world to give them the much wanted attention. If you think you have none of these qualities in you, it’s time to change yourself. Unless you do, you’ll never find the right match. So, pamper your ladylove!

2. Even Little Things Can Impress Them
Well, yes, of course it is said that diamonds are a woman’s best friend but not all women expect their partner to gift them expensive stuff like jewellery, phone, iPod, a branded bag or watch. Even little things can make women really happy. Be it, buying her a bunch of red roses or dropping her back home after work can go a long way in creating a lasting impression on her. So, do things that she likes and just see what all she does to make you happy.

3. For Women, It’s About ‘US’ 
Remember, it’s not just about you. If you’re planning to marry the woman you like, it’s time you replace ‘I’ and ‘ME’ with ‘WE’ and ‘US’. Women always look for a supportive life partner, one who can understand them and be there besides them when they really need you. So, first learn to support her and do things that make her happy.

4. They Want A Man Who’s Committed
Do we really need to tell you that women love men who’re committed? If you’ve been a flirt in the past, please make sure you change your image before you start looking forward to settling down with a woman. Trust is the key word in every relationship. Never give her a chance to doubt you in any situation.

5. Women are Emotional
Women have emotional needs and please note that retail therapy (read shopping) is one of them. Shopping for women has never been so quick. So be patient and give her time. They need to be told everyday that they are loved, valued and they are the ones that make your world go round. Women are sensitive and need to be handled with care.

Google working on Siri Competitor, Code Named ‘Majel’

Google working on Siri competitor

Google working on Siri competitor

A new report suggests that Google is working on a features which will improve Android’s voice command capabilities and will go up against Apple’s Siri which was introduced with the iPhone 4S. This project is code-named ‘Majel’ while its actual launch date is still a mystery, AndroidandMe reports that it should probably be out before the end of this year, we hope to see it at CES 2012.
Majel will allow Android users to do pretty much all the things which Siri provides iPhone 4S users, it will let users issue queries without using specific commands but rather use conversational speech input. According to the report, the initial version will allow users to control the phone and even any application installed on the device. There are no confirmations about such a solution from Google, but it is quite obvious that Google must have been cooking something to compete with Siri. Further, Google also recently announced acquisition of Clever Sense, the developers behind ‘Alfred’ which is a personal assistant software similar to Siri.

Top Ten Reasons Why Large Companies Fail To Keep Their Best Talent

How Companies Lose Their Best Employees

How Companies Lose Their Best Employees

Whether it’s a high-profile tech company like Yahoo!, or a more established conglomerate like GE or Home Depot, large companies have a hard time keeping their best and brightest in house. Recently, GigaOM discussed the troubles at Yahoo! with a flat stock price, vested options for some of their best people, and the apparent free flow of VC dollars luring away some of their best people to do the start-up thing again.
Yet, Yahoo!, GE, Home Depot, and other large established companies have a tremendous advantage in retaining their top talent and don’t. I’ve seen the good and the bad things that large companies do in relation to talent management. Here’s my Top Ten list of what large companies do to lose their top talent :


1. Big Company Bureaucracy. This is probably the #1 reason we hear after the fact from disenchanted employees. However, it’s usually a reason that masks the real reason. No one likes rules that make no sense. But, when top talent is complaining along these lines, it’s usually a sign that they didn’t feel as if they had a say in these rules. They were simply told to follow along and get with the program. No voice in the process and really talented people say “check please.”


2. Failing to Find a Project for the Talent that Ignites Their Passion. Big companies have many moving parts — by definition. Therefore, they usually don’t have people going around to their best and brightest asking them if they’re enjoying their current projects or if they want to work on something new that they’re really interested in which would help the company. HR people are usually too busy keeping up with other things to get into this. The bosses are also usually tapped out on time and this becomes a “nice to have” rather than “must have” conversation. However, unless you see it as a “must have,” say adios to some of your best people. Top talent isn’t driven by money and power, but by the opportunity to be a part of something huge, that will change the world, and for which they are really passionate. Big companies usually never spend the time to figure this out with those people.


3. Poor Annual Performance Reviews. You would be amazed at how many companies do not do a very effective job at annual performance reviews. Or, if they have them, they are rushed through, with a form quickly filled out and sent off to HR, and back to real work. The impression this leaves with the employee is that my boss — and, therefore, the company — isn’t really interested in my long-term future here. If you’re talented enough, why stay? This one leads into #4….


4. No Discussion around Career Development. Here’s a secret for most bosses: most employees don’t know what they’ll be doing in 5 years. In our experience, about less than 5% of people could tell you if you asked. However, everyone wants to have a discussion with you about their future. Most bosses never engage with their employees about where they want to go in their careers — even the top talent. This represents a huge opportunity for you and your organization if you do bring it up. Our best clients have separate annual discussions with their employees — apart from their annual or bi-annual performance review meetings — to discuss succession planning or career development. If your best people know that you think there’s a path for them going forward, they’ll be more likely to hang around.


5. Shifting Whims/Strategic Priorities. I applaud companies trying to build an incubator or “brickhouse” around their talent, by giving them new exciting projects to work on. The challenge for most organizations is not setting up a strategic priority, like establishing an incubator, but sticking with it a year or two from now. Top talent hates to be “jerked around.” If you commit to a project that they will be heading up, you’ve got to give them enough opportunity to deliver what they’ve promised.


6. Lack of Accountability and/or telling them how to do their Jobs.  Although you can’t “jerk around” top talent, it’s a mistake to treat top talent leading a project as “untouchable.” We’re not saying that you need to get into anyone’s business or telling them what to do. However, top talent demands accountability from others and doesn’t mind being held accountable for their projects. Therefore, have regular touch points with your best people as they work through their projects. They’ll appreciate your insights/observations/suggestions — as long as they don’t spillover into preaching.


7. Top Talent likes other Top Talent. What are the rest of the people around your top talent like? Many organizations keep some people on the payroll that rationally shouldn’t be there. You’ll get a litany of rationales explaining why when you ask. “It’s too hard to find a replacement for him/her….” “Now’s not the time….” However, doing exit interviews with the best people leaving big companies you often hear how they were turned off by some of their former “team mates.” If you want to keep your best people, make sure they’re surrounded by other great people.


8. The Missing Vision Thing. This might sound obvious, but is the future of your organization exciting? What strategy are you executing? What is the vision you want this talented person to fulfill? Did they have a say/input into this vision? If the answer is no, there’s work to do — and fast.


9. Lack of Open-Mindedness. The best people want to share their ideas and have them listened to. However, a lot of companies have a vision/strategy which they are trying to execute against — and, often find opposing voices to this strategy as an annoyance and a sign that someone’s not a “team player.” If all the best people are leaving and disagreeing with the strategy, you’re left with a bunch of “yes” people saying the same things to each other. You’ve got to be able to listen to others’ points of view — always incorporating the best parts of these new suggestions.


10. Who’s the Boss? If a few people have recently quit at your company who report to the same boss, it’s likely not a coincidence. We’ll often get asked to come in and “fix” someone who’s a great sales person, engineer, or is a founder, but who is driving everyone around them “nuts.” We can try, but unfortunately, executive coaching usually only works 33% of the time in these cases. You’re better off trying to find another spot for them in the organization — or, at the very least, not overseeing your high-potential talent that you want to keep.
It’s never a one-way street. Top talent has to assume some responsibility as much as the organization. However, with the scarcity of talent — which will only increase in the next 5 years — Smart Organizations are ones who get out in front of these ten things, rather than wait for their people to come to them, asking to implement this list.

How Exercise Boosts Confidence

Self-confidence is a product of what we believe in and what we actively set out to achieve. In modern day living, this can mean many things – physical confidence being one of them. Exercise is an important tool that helps us achieve this physical confidence. Beyond the postural imbalances, muscle tensions and day-to-day energy demands, the ability to be physically available to your day’s requirements is crucial. Today, we’re looking at some important benefits of exercise with respect to physical confidence and how it can go a much longer way than any retail therapy your heart can desire…

How Exercise Boosts Confidence

How Exercise Boosts Confidence

With expert inputs from Dr. Pulkit Sharma, Clinical Psychologist and Psychoanalytical Therapist at VIMHANS Hospital, Delhi.

Feeling confident in a rational and realistic manner is a sound safeguard against several physical, mental and emotional problems. Let us give you a low down of the top 10 ways in which exercise boosts confidence:

Sense of Achievement: Whenever you exercise your personal worth increases because it gives you a feeling that you have done something rather than sitting passively and brooding over issues.

Enhanced well-being: When you exercise, the body releases chemical substances known as endorphins which relieve stress and make you feel good psychologically. This boosts your confidence. 

Physical Health: Regular exercise makes your immune system strong and well equipped to fight various diseases and infections. As you remain disease free, there is a sense of pride. 

Appearance: Exercise gives you a good appearance and your body image improves. Feeling attractive and good about the way you look pumps up your self-confidence. 

Change of Mindset: On some occasions when you are lost in anxious and negative thoughts, doing physical exercise can shake this mindset and make you feel confident and positive. 

Reliable Anchor: Exercise acts as a reliable anchor point in our life and makes you feel in control. Whenever we have something constant to look forward to we feel good and confident. 

Socialization: Whether it is joining a gym, walking in the neighborhood park, attending a yoga or dance class, exercise gives us space and opportunity to meet people and form bonds. Socialization adds to the confidence. 

Competition: While exercising you may have a wish to challenge yourself or someone else. Going past your limit makes you feel on the top of the world. 

Sexual Performance: Many people feel low due to a bad sex life. Physical exercise improves your sexual stamina and sexual performance and enhances self-reliance. 

Attention and Concentration: Exercise also increases your attention and concentration, which means that you can focus on your work a lot better and this becomes an important feel good factor.

7 Things Highly Productive People Do

7 Things Highly Productive People Do

7 Things Highly Productive People Do

You probably don’t want to admit it but you love distractions. In fact, just like monkeys, you get a shot of dopamine every time something pulls you in another direction. Why do you think you check your email so much?

Want to be more productive and get your focus back? There are no secret tricks here… do one thing at a time. Stop multitasking—it’s just another form of distraction.

Here are his tips for staying productive:

 1. Work backwards from goals to milestones to tasks. Writing “launch company website” at the top of your to-do list is a sure way to make sure you never get it done. Break down the work into smaller and smaller chunks until you have specific tasks that can be accomplished in a few hours or less: Sketch a wireframe, outline an introduction for the homepage video, etc. That’s how you set goals and actually succeed in crossing them off your list.

2. Stop multi-tasking. No, seriously—stop. Switching from task to task quickly does not work. In fact, changing tasks more than 10 times in a day makes you dumber than being stoned. When you’re stoned, your IQ drops by five points. When you multitask, it drops by an average of 10 points, 15 for men, five for women (yes, men are three times as bad at multitasking than women).

3. Be militant about eliminating distractions. Lock your door, put a sign up, turn off your phone, texts, email, and instant messaging. In fact, if you know you may sneak a peek at your email, set it to offline mode, or even turn off your Internet connection. Go to a quiet area and focus on completing one task.

4. Schedule your email. Pick two or three times during the day when you’re going to use your email. Checking your email constantly throughout the day creates a ton of noise and kills your productivity.

5. Use the phone. Email isn’t meant for conversations. Don’t reply more than twice to an email. Pick up the phone instead.

6. Work on your own agenda. Don’t let something else set your day. Most people go right to their emails and start freaking out. You will end up at inbox-zero, but accomplish nothing. After you wake up, drink water so you rehydrate, eat a good breakfast to replenish your glucose, then set prioritized goals for the rest of your day.

7. Work in 60 to 90 minute intervals. Your brain uses up more glucose than any other bodily activity. Typically you will have spent most of it after 60-90 minutes. (That’s why you feel so burned out after super long meetings.) So take a break: Get up, go for a walk, have a snack, do something completely different to recharge. And yes, that means you need an extra hour for breaks, not including lunch, so if you’re required to get eight hours of work done each day, plan to be there for 9.5-10 hours.

A Cigarettes Smoker’s : Why Smokers Try, but Can’t Quit

Why Smokers Try, but Can’t Quit

Why Smokers Try, but Can’t Quit

Every smoker plans on quitting someday. And every smoker knows it’s tough to kick the butt. As a matter of fact, just smelling smoke or looking at a smoker’s photo is reason enough for would-be quitters to light up ‘just one more’. But if you want to quit smoking, have tried everything possible, and have failed time and again, then you’ve reached the right place. Today, we speak with a smoker and a psychologist in order to understand why smokers try, but can’t quit.

Copywriter, A R Rahul
 is a self-confessed active smoker. He smokes 18-20 cigarettes in a day and realizes all the unhealthy factors linked with smoking. In a heart-to-heart conversation with HMU, he throws light on the psychology of a smoker, why he can’t quit or if he plans on quitting ever.

Here are the excerpts from the interview.

Why can’t you quit smoking cigarettes?

It feels like a ritual. Like brushing teeth. Or taking a bath. Otherwise the morning feels incomplete. Or it’s there at the back of the head. That’s all. Moreover, if I haven’t smoked all night or evening and I smoke in the morning, sometimes my legs get jittery for a few seconds. The buzz, you know. It feels nice and makes me all set for the day. Like if you’re in the metro alone you tend to text a lot or read a book. Similarly, smoking is a thing to do. You can call it an idol person’s unhealthy passtime. Yes, I am aware of the fact that it is unhealthy.

Why is it difficult to overcome the urge to smoke while drinking?

Maybe it’s psychological, but I feel it gives a faster buzz. Also, I drink socially, so smoking, as it’s another thing people do while socializing, becomes an automatic choice.

What makes you think you can never quit?

Smoking quickly becomes a habit. Most people have had phases where they’ve quit for a week or a month. I haven’t been able to that as of now. I hide behind reasons like stress and tell myself that it keeps me awake at night. Like some people get brilliant ideas, once a while, when they are reading their morning newspaper – for me smoking does the same trick. Only psychologically. For the same reason, I like to smoke alone mostly so I can think clearly.

Do you plan on quitting ever?

One day will come when I’ll quit smoking, because one day I’ll need to. Hopefully I’ll have the will power then. But today, I smoke with an unforeseen future. Maybe if I see an X ray of my lungs one day, I’ll slow down.

And now for a Psychologist’s Take:

Dr. Pulkit Sharma, Clinical Psychologist and Psychoanalytical Therapist at VIMHANS Hospital,
 Delhi says: When smokers approach me for psychological help to quit smoking, they usually have tried multiple times to give up smoking but failed miserably. It is a false belief that smokers lack motivation and drive to quit. The fact is that even though they are desperate to renounce smoking certain deep-seated psychological reasons compel them to continue it. Often these factors need to be understood and dealt with to enable them to leave smoking. Let us try and understand why smokers try, but can’t quit.

 

  • Smoking is a Form of Self-Medication: Smokers suffer from boredom, emptiness, loneliness and intense emotional states. Many people smoke not because they enjoy it, but because they wish to ease the psychological pain. To quit smoking successfully, this pain has to be addressed and worked through.
  • Smoking as Biological Dependence: Once a person gets addicted to smoking, trying to quit it can lead to intense physiological and psychological withdrawal symptoms which prompt the person to return. Therefore, while giving up smoking, medical assistance to monitor and treat these withdrawal symptoms can be very helpful.
  • Smoking is a Statement:For some individuals, the rough masculine image which goes along with smoking is essential to hold onto. Others feel that they will not be able to gain their friend’s acceptance. In these cases, some amount of work is required on the ways to cope with the peer pressure.
  • Smoking Secondary to a Psychological Disorder:In some cases addiction to smoking is due to a psychological disorder the person is suffering from. These disorders include Borderline Personality Disorder, Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Antisocial Personality Disorder, Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, Depression, Bipolar Disorder and Conduct Disorder.
  • Smoking to Beat Stress: Individuals suffering from work stress, study pressure or marital stress take to smoking to beat the stress. Until proper stress management is done it is hard for them to quit smoking.

5 Reasons Why Men Are Commitment Phobic

5 Reasons Why Men Are Commitment Phobic

5 Reasons Why Men Are Commitment Phobic

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Men love their freedom and the bachelor’s life. For most guys, the very thought of staying committed to one woman all their life just seems impossible. Ever wondered why? Here are top five reasons for why men suffer from commitment phobia…

5. Loss of Freedom

Most men like to be independent and take their own decisions. Suddenly when a woman enters the picture, things really change. Their lifestyle, choices, decisions, etc go for a toss. Men feel women need an explanation for everything, so sharing every little thing with her is a nightmare for them. Most men resist the idea of spending their life pleasing one woman all the time.

4. More Variety
Most men crave sexual variety, which is a fact. When they commit to a woman, it is assumed that marriage is an end to their flirty ways and he will be physically loyal with his partner all his life. They fear a sense of sexual boredom.

3. Avoid Divorce and it’s Financial Risk
Some men have had a bad experience in the past or have seen a friend going through it and so they’re sceptical about being committed. It must have been a divorce that made them run a marathon to the court or may be an ex-wife (or a friend’s wife) who took financial advantage during the settlement proceedings. To avoid bitterness and financial trouble, men run away from getting into a serious relationship.

2. The Emotional Baggage
For most women, marriage is like a fairtytale, where the guy is the prince charming who will sweep them off their feet and solve all their problems magically. Some women are quite quick when it comes to choosing their life partner, but that’s not how it is with men. Men are rational and take time to figure out the right partner for them. They are always afraid and insecure about getting into a new relationship. Men don’t want to go through the emotional trauma if it doesn’t work. Hence, they tend to be commitment phobic.

1. Not Yet Ready
Committing to a woman is serious business and every man is aware of that. But at times, men aren’t willing to get married because they feel they aren’t financially and emotionally ready to take on more responsibilities. Men want to live life to the fullest and let go of their commitment phobia only when they think they are ready for marriage.

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